Unstable Approach

Issue #056

✈️ The Crosswind Chronicles

Navigating life’s gusts, on and off the flight deck.

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An approach is not just getting the airplane to the runway.

It is a series of parameters that have to be met, and held.

By 1,000 feet, you are expected to be stable.

On speed.

On glide path.

On course.

Configured properly.

Descent rate controlled.

Not close.

Stable.

If you are fast, drifting off course, or chasing altitude instead of holding it, you are outside the envelope.

And when you step outside that envelope, the rule is simple.

You go around.

Because trying to salvage an unstable approach is how small problems turn into big ones.

The airplane will let you keep going.

That does not mean you should.

At home, the parameters are not written down.

But they exist.

Tone.

Patience.

Presence.

Attention.

You can feel when you are inside them.

And you can feel when you are not.

That is usually the moment we try to push through anyway.

That is when things get unstable.

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📝 Dad NOTAM

Subject: “Wanna See a Cool Trick?”

My son has been really into showing me things lately.

“Dad, wanna see a cool trick?”

And I’m not against it.

But it’s never when I’m sitting with him, fully engaged.

It’s always when we’re trying to get out the door.

Getting shoes on.

Grabbing bags.

Thinking about the next thing.

Basically, when my focus isn’t on him.

And that used to frustrate me.

Not because of what he was asking.

But because of when he was asking.

But as I’m writing this, I think I’m realizing something.

That might actually be the point.

He’s not interrupting my attention.

He’s asking for it.

And he’s asking when he feels like he doesn’t have it.

That changes it.

Because now it’s not bad timing.

It’s a signal.

So today’s Dad NOTAM is simple.

If your kid is tugging on you while you’re busy, slow down and watch the cool trick.

Not every time.

That’s not real life.

But when you can, that’s the moment.

That’s when things settle in.

That’s when you’re not rushing, not distracted, not half-listening.

That’s when you’re stable on the approach.

That’s when fatherhood feels right.

Because the instability is not coming from them.

It’s coming from us trying to live two lives at once.

Our responsibilities.

And their moments.

And when we try to force both at the same time, that’s when things start to get unstable.

That’s when we need to go around.

Because forcing an unstable approach does not end well.

It just leads to a hard landing.

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🔁 Go-Around Report

When the first approach doesn’t work, go-around. You can always go-around.

I needed to move.

Not think about it. Not plan it.

Move.

Lift. Run. Walk. Something.

When I’m on the road, it just happens. It’s part of the rhythm.

But when I’m home, it has to be intentional.

If it’s not, you get pulled into everything else.

The house. The kids. The schedule.

And before you know it, the next trip starts and you never took care of yourself once.

That’s where I was.

A day or two in.

And I was off.

Short. Irritated. Grumpy.

Did I sleep enough? Yes.

Was my family doing anything wrong? No.

Did I have my coffee? Of course.

Still off.

That’s what made it worse.

Because now there’s no reason for it.

Just a bad attitude with no explanation.

Then it clicked.

I hadn’t moved in a couple days.

My body felt stiff.

But more than that, my mind felt tight.

Everything felt like friction.

The Captain started laying out the plan.

“We’re going to the park, then we need to grab something from the store, and we’ll stop by my mom’s…”

And I felt it.

That pressure.

Like I was losing control of the day.

So I pushed back.

Harder than I should have.

Basically threw a fit just so I could go for a run.

And the second I got back, I felt it.

Clear. Calm. Normal again.

And honestly… a little embarrassed.

Because none of that needed to happen.

That whole sequence could have been avoided.

Not by controlling the day.

By leading it better.

All I had to do was say it earlier.

“Hey, I’m going to go for a run. What do you need from me before I go? What can I help with after?”

That’s it.

Instead, I waited until I was already unstable.

Then tried to fix it on the way down.

That’s the trap.

You ignore the early signs.

You push through.

You tell yourself you’re fine.

Until you’re not.

The go-around was not the run.

It was the realization.

Take care of yourself before you try to take control of everything else.

Tomorrow’s Approach: Move early. Lead clearly. And stop expecting to take control of a house that’s been running just fine without you.

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🧭 Vectors for Home Base

Instability at home rarely shows up as something obvious.

It shows up as something that does not quite make sense.

The Captain asked me what was wrong.

“Nothing.”

Time went on.

She asked again.

“What’s wrong with you?”

That made me irritated.

Because in my head, nothing was wrong.

But something was clearly off.

The truth was I had been ignoring my own needs for hours.

Not big things.

Simple things.

Moving my body.

Getting a quick workout in.

Handling a few responsibilities that help the house run.

She had been with the kids all day, doing what she could, when she could. Holding things together in ways that do not show up on a checklist.

This was not about her not doing enough.

It was about me not being aligned.

In my head, I kept pushing everything aside so I could just be with the family.

But underneath that, I was building pressure.

Feeling like I was behind.

Feeling like I was not pulling my weight.

Feeling like I was choosing wrong no matter what I did.

So I stayed.

But I stayed unstable.

And that is what she felt.

Not the tasks.

Not the schedule.

Me.

In aviation, you do not ignore instability just because you want to land.

You acknowledge it early and correct it before it compounds.

At home, it looks the same.

Say it sooner.

Handle what needs to be handled.

Take ten minutes to reset instead of pushing through.

Because forcing presence does not create connection.

It creates tension.

Honesty creates alignment.

And alignment is what stabilizes the approach.

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💬 Jumpseat Stories

What are your early signs that things are getting unstable?

Reply to this article or email crosswindchronicles@gmail.com.

Or, if this one felt familiar, send it to someone in your crew who might need the reminder to reset early.

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Subscribe now. Stable or unstable, we’ll call it early and save the landing.

Until the next leg,

Jake

First Officer, Dad, Human Trying Not to Stall