Thanks Cameron. That means a lot. I try to write what it actually feels like in those moments, even when it isn’t neat or tidy. Grateful we connected too and I’m excited to keep learning from your work as well.
I love the line: “What she needed wasn’t my efficiency. It was my gratitude. A thank you that didn’t sound like a checklist.”
I fall into this trap all the time! I want to do something for her when all she really wants is to be seen, heard, and feel safe. When I can focus on more what she needs rather than what my default is, we both connect with each other easier.
Man, same here. I default to solving problems when what she really needs is presence. When I slow down and offer gratitude instead of efficiency, everything softens and we actually connect. Appreciate you sharing that.
Totally get that. The goodbyes are never routine, even when travel is. What most people don’t see is the weight spouses carry holding both hope and fear at the same time. You put it perfectly and it means a lot coming from someone who lives it too.
There’s some element of catastrophising too… And wondering what I’d do if my husband didn’t come home. (My answer is usually ‘fall apart into a useless heap’ so then I turn to boring statistics about how safe flying is to make myself feel better.)
Reading this brought back so many memories. You captured that strange split perfectly — loving the world in the air and the one waiting at home. The way you wrote about both needing you steady… that balance never really leaves you. Beautifully written, Jake.
This means a lot coming from someone who’s actually lived both sides of the cabin door. That split you mentioned is real and being fully alive in the sky yet knowing someone on the ground needs your steady more than your stories. It changes how you move through both worlds.
Great post! I really feel the emotion in your writing and it resonates with me. My parents leaves far from my university and it is always sad to say goodbye. Thank you for sharing and continue the great work!
Thank you, man. Goodbyes never get easier, no matter the distance. Whether it’s leaving home for school or leaving my family for work, that moment always reminds me how much the people on the other side mean. I appreciate you sharing that and I’m grateful you felt the heart in it. I’ll keep writing. Let’s both keep showing up.
This so perfectly captures the paternal experience: You think about how strange it is, loving two worlds that never quite overlap. The one you fly in, and the one you leave behind. Both need you steady. Both take a little piece every time you go.
I think about this a lot every time my husband goes to work. He loves his job and also wishes he had more time at home. It’s so refreshing to have a dad’s perspective on here! You’re doing a beautiful job balancing both!
Thank you, Marina. You described it so well. Loving two worlds that never fully touch, yet both asking for the best of you. That quiet pull is something a lot of dads feel but rarely say out loud.
Balancing the job you love with the home you love even more is a strange tension. It helps to know other families feel it too. I really appreciate you saying it’s refreshing to hear a dad’s voice here. Moms carry so much of the conversation, but I think more dads are ready to be honest about what this life really feels like.
Would love to hear more about your husband’s experience. Sounds like we’re living the same story from different seats.
So descriptive, so many layers, so glad we connected.
A truly enjoyable read to start my day and I look forward to more!
Thanks Cameron. That means a lot. I try to write what it actually feels like in those moments, even when it isn’t neat or tidy. Grateful we connected too and I’m excited to keep learning from your work as well.
I love the line: “What she needed wasn’t my efficiency. It was my gratitude. A thank you that didn’t sound like a checklist.”
I fall into this trap all the time! I want to do something for her when all she really wants is to be seen, heard, and feel safe. When I can focus on more what she needs rather than what my default is, we both connect with each other easier.
Man, same here. I default to solving problems when what she really needs is presence. When I slow down and offer gratitude instead of efficiency, everything softens and we actually connect. Appreciate you sharing that.
The thing I hate the most when my husband travels is the fear that he won't come home. So much admiration for spouses of people who travel frequently.
Totally get that. The goodbyes are never routine, even when travel is. What most people don’t see is the weight spouses carry holding both hope and fear at the same time. You put it perfectly and it means a lot coming from someone who lives it too.
There’s some element of catastrophising too… And wondering what I’d do if my husband didn’t come home. (My answer is usually ‘fall apart into a useless heap’ so then I turn to boring statistics about how safe flying is to make myself feel better.)
Reading this brought back so many memories. You captured that strange split perfectly — loving the world in the air and the one waiting at home. The way you wrote about both needing you steady… that balance never really leaves you. Beautifully written, Jake.
This means a lot coming from someone who’s actually lived both sides of the cabin door. That split you mentioned is real and being fully alive in the sky yet knowing someone on the ground needs your steady more than your stories. It changes how you move through both worlds.
Great post! I really feel the emotion in your writing and it resonates with me. My parents leaves far from my university and it is always sad to say goodbye. Thank you for sharing and continue the great work!
Thank you, man. Goodbyes never get easier, no matter the distance. Whether it’s leaving home for school or leaving my family for work, that moment always reminds me how much the people on the other side mean. I appreciate you sharing that and I’m grateful you felt the heart in it. I’ll keep writing. Let’s both keep showing up.
This so perfectly captures the paternal experience: You think about how strange it is, loving two worlds that never quite overlap. The one you fly in, and the one you leave behind. Both need you steady. Both take a little piece every time you go.
I think about this a lot every time my husband goes to work. He loves his job and also wishes he had more time at home. It’s so refreshing to have a dad’s perspective on here! You’re doing a beautiful job balancing both!
Thank you, Marina. You described it so well. Loving two worlds that never fully touch, yet both asking for the best of you. That quiet pull is something a lot of dads feel but rarely say out loud.
Balancing the job you love with the home you love even more is a strange tension. It helps to know other families feel it too. I really appreciate you saying it’s refreshing to hear a dad’s voice here. Moms carry so much of the conversation, but I think more dads are ready to be honest about what this life really feels like.
Would love to hear more about your husband’s experience. Sounds like we’re living the same story from different seats.
Maybe I’ll get him to write a guest post. Keep showing up on here, substack needs the dad perspective!
That means the world to me! I will 🫡